The Sulphur Lights are three fine boys from Brisbane Town. Kathy Pollock kidnapped them and held them at gun point, playing Rick Springfield and John Cougar over and over for five hours until they broke down and answered her questions. They cried a lot and told her terrible secrets. Later on she set them free and typed up this interview. Enjoy.
Our first four questions are multiple choice, a get-to-know-you, if you will. Here goes.
1. How would you most describe The Sulphur Lights sound?a. Funky
b. Bombastic
c. Jiggy
d. Dangerous
Funky and Dangerous- it looks like this:
2. Which film character would you most liken yourself to?
a. Ace Ventura, Pet Detective
b. The Kid (Prince in Purple Rain)
c. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
d. Jaws
Ace Ventura.
3. Which light would you most describe your personalities as being?
a. A fluorescent light in a call centre hallway, with a wilted pot plant underneath struggling to stay alive in the harsh glow
b. A dim bedside lamp with a beaded, hand woven shade
c. A strobe light in a school disco
d. One of those multi-coloured candles that you always see in share-houses on the verandah with the wick buried beneath melted wax and cigarette butts
A strobe light in a school disco.
4. If you opened a packet of Tim Tams and a genie popped out and granted you one wish, would it be?
a. An endless supply of Tim-Tams, including all the limited flavours like Dark Forest
b. Billions of dollars in cold hard cash
c. True love
d. A puppy of your very own that is a cross-breed of any kind of dog you desire
D, A puppy.
Now for the hard questions.....
5. What was the first record you ever bought?
Some 90s pop music compilation. Don't remember what it was, Smash Hits or something.
6. What was the worst record you ever bought?
Same as above.
7. Explain the origins of The Sulphur Lights in one funny sentence?
Two friends fire drummer and find jazz musician weirdo replacement.
8. What's the most uncouth, off the hook thang to ever happen on tour?
We only ever went on tour once because we are lazy and poor. One particular night on that tour I got far too drunk and forgot how the songs went, smashed my guitar and had to be carried home passed out.
9. If you became mega rich and famous, what out-of-control things would you demand on your backstage rider?
Lasers of varying intensities, bottles of Ernest Shackleton's 103 year old Antarctic Whiskey, transcript of Rudyard Kipling soliloquy in 'Old Money' printed on gold leaf, Dino snacks and several cats resembling Felix
10. Have you ever considered filming a Spinal Tap style doco on yourselves? You could call it Sulphur Tap.
It never occured to me until now but that is an amazing idea. We'll all have British accents and recount when we realised the song was going to be a hit in the studio.
Unless you're a bloody idiot, you'll get amongst the shiny Sulphur Lights action. Get to it.
